The Year 2015- A personal blog.

The Year 2015 was quite eventful for me. Eventful for many reasons, I got three job offers, completed Masters degree, moved to a completely new country with a very contentful job and what not.

The above description seems to be taken out of a fairy tale and a smooth ride with good things happening in a row. True. Good things do happen in life but, what people miss seeing is the nerve breaking hard work that one has to do to achieve those. All the sleepless nights in the library, the early morning lectures, the 4 hours journey to an interview with less than 2 hours of sleep or none at all, the financial crunch that every (most, I believe) overseas student faces during their studies, mine was exceptionally hard, considering the fact that I have taken a loan from bank and need to manage everything with a limited budget. Trust me, it was difficult. I remember the time when I had to wait for the discount to start in the supermarket (generally between 9-10pm) to get food at a cheaper rate (those expiring the same day), traveling by cheapest mode even if it means extra travel time and less sleep (for an interview), never eating out and many more. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining but, I am glad in a way that it happened. It helps me be a better person, respect financial matter and makes me stronger mentally and emotionally in some way.

To make things a little better, I had to take up a part time job working 4 hours per week and I was lucky to find a work in the lab and it was assisting students (I got really lucky there and good things happen to good people, can't help adding that ;)). The hardest thing was applying for jobs and getting rejected, partly because I was an oversea student and will need VISA sponsorship and partly because I was not good enough (at that time at least). The year 2015 starts off with challenges in all possible directions which include handling/juggling between a part-time job, applying for jobs and traveling 8 hrs per day for an interview (with ending in rejections, you have no idea how frustrating that could be) and Master thesis/dissertation/project (which somehow was a difficult one). Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the stress of the depleting fund in my bank balance. It was stressful, frustrating and good learning experience (I need to end with some positivity :)).

Adding to all these, my mom's health was deteriorating for some reason (ya, shit happens). I was emotionally depleted with job applications going nowhere and a neck deep financial situation. Literally, I was in deep shit and every now and then, I would curse myself for leaving a job in pursuit of what seems like to be (at that time) a stupid dream. But, then something happened- I did not give up. I sent in more applications, I started spending most of my free time in the library (read 15-18 hours) and I started enjoying my part time job (which was a great add-on to my resume). My project was going well as well.

Long story short, I stayed positive and ended with three job offers, a teaching assistance experience from my part time and my project was nominated for the best project at the Master's level.

I am not a very smart guy or an intelligent one but, I realized that the worst brings out the best in me.

Never give up. Never.

----------------------------------------------EOB----------------------------------------------------------------

Update:

Jan 2015: No job, no money, loans.

December 2015: Job, which I am doing well, Cleared my loan with the joining bonus, got some money in my account :). All I want is my mom to be healthy and with the vacation planned for next week, I will make it right.

Happiness.

'Zero' Expectation.

Yes, expecting none is a way of being happy. Life is full of challenges and you will have certain expectations and when you do not meet or achieve those expectations, your mind automatically turns on the 'un'-happy mode. Honestly, the last few months has been tidBit difficult for me and I realize how soon you tend to feel sad. Its just funny and annoying how you react to certain situations or shall I say certain situations, controlling your emotions and life as a whole.

Life is full of expectations and you are taught to expect, and its ok to expect but its not ok to make the outcome of the expectation control you. It takes an enlightened mind to do that (I am definitely not talking about the self-acclaimed babas and gurus) and I am not the enlightened soul (very few has achieved enlightenment). I expect and fall into the trap like everyone else. So, what I can do about it? Its easy to discuss a problem but the important thing is to come up with a solution. The solutions will not be easy and it will not be one liner. The first thing that comes to my mind is to let go of what is causing me sadness- 'the expectation' and I ask the same voice (inside me) are you kidding me? I am human and I am programmed to expect, its like breathing. well almost like breathing (happy?). The second thing that automatically comes was to lower my expectation, well, this is a very doable and this is something I need to do, but there is a catch here- your ego comes into play and ruin everything- you ego will ask why to expect less when you can expect more. so, the solution is to kill the ego and expect to fail and accept to live with it. 

Life seems to be a never-ending loop of sadness for some and never ending loop of happiness for others. The idea is to give your best shot without expecting anything in return, learn from your mistakes and contribute to the society, help whenever you can.